hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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