i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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