Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
3pm strippers are depressing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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