Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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