wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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