It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
