I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
