I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
