Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
