Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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