I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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