this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
