why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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