your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also, beer. Big fan.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
