My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
