I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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