the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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