Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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