Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
