An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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