if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
