so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
