I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hell yes lets make some ravioli
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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