Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
