Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
