Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize