good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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