I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
