Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
