they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
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It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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