You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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