who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
