help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm at about main and main street
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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