Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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