their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
