we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
