Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
