I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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