I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
