Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
