Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize