so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
