Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
