I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
