I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
