Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
