The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
