K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
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she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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