how can u be prego again
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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