so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
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They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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