4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
