fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
