I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
