I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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