I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My breasts were aching with rage.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
