When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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