Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  None he's f-d

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  (313): Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have (1-313): None he's f-d http://tfl.nu/3q7m
  Replies (14) Good night (709) Bad night (1815)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.

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  (651): By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hsj3
  Replies (14) Good night (611) Bad night (1673) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

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  (802): i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin http://tfl.nu/0a0z
  Replies (14) Good night (832) Bad night (2079) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house

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  (931): I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house http://tfl.nu/8rln
  Replies (18) Good night (857) Bad night (5167) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

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  (913): I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady." http://tfl.nu/ftym
  Replies (11) Good night (6153) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.

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  (717): i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender. http://tfl.nu/6o47
  Replies (9) Good night (839) Bad night (4293) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  i can't find my house

  (1-845): View more from New York

  we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.

  (845): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure my house moved.

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  (845): i can't find my house (1-845): we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago. (845): i'm pretty sure my house moved. http://tfl.nu/nzng
  Replies (51) Good night (13510) Bad night (1267)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right

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  (910): Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right http://tfl.nu/sp80
  Replies (6) Good night (642) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.

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  (812): I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more. http://tfl.nu/ty1z
  Replies (14) Good night (1342) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.

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  (706): they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking. http://tfl.nu/tfa8
  Replies (6) Good night (951) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me

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  (514): I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me http://tfl.nu/t69r
  Replies (2) Good night (1736) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

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  (250): I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest http://tfl.nu/zut9
  Replies (18) Good night (1154) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.

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  (775): May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now. http://tfl.nu/3k9t
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.

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  (347): I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong. http://tfl.nu/uiaa
  Replies (13) Good night (1721) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder

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  (705): All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder http://tfl.nu/9ns2
  Replies (8) Good night (654) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt

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