Already got asked if we're dating
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
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if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later