her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?