Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down