haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
